nothing feels good
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Like you in red & blue jeans and your white and night things.

Tuesday, September 28, 2004
Yuck. In college I have forgotten all about plastic people, but here comes a bunch of high-school acting bitches giving plastic faces to everybody they meet.

In a lazy mood to re-write what I wrote this afternoon during HistCiv so here it is, un-edited. -x-

Starbucks. Tuesday break after Spanone. After lunch at Subway. Had drinks at STARBUCKS! (with a yucky smiley)

Those gals were there. BJ - she's not my friend. Classmate last term in one subject. Tried talking to her but I knew she didn't care to talk to me. Although obviously she cared some, through whispers and giggles among her gals. Then today she comes pretending to care. Asking me how I am as if she were concerned and not minding Marian who was her friend.

"Ikaw kamusta ka na?"
"Uh.. ok lang.. "
"Nasan si Besa?"
"Malay ko! Di ko alam.."
"Ok.. nangangamusta lang.."

Nangangamusta lang??!
You don't even say HI when I run into you. Stupid bitch. Impluwensya lang yan ng friends mong bulok. [ok that was an addition just now, the last 2 words]

How could you even have the nerve to do that! Kala mo I care about you. ppnsp.

posted by introvert at 10:28:24 PM
. . .
Saturday, September 25, 2004
I'm sick (no, I just feel sick) - I've got cough and colds and this damned pain in my stomach. I watched The Good Girl this afternoon at Star Movies and I'm mighty glad I did. I loved it. I didn't expect it to be so good. I guess that's the beauty of expectin' nothin'. Heh. I'm still thinking of it right now, it's that good. Or is it.. Hell, all I can say is I liked it, ok?

Awright, I can hear the thunders again.. this strange weather in this country is really strange. Just this morning and afternoon the sun was shining so bright and giving off a good wave of warmth that it felt like a great summer day. And now it's thunderin' outside. Geez.

Well, I'm right now very much missing my good friends of old. Back in the old days, as in those people who are really old. I don't mean old as in old enough to be grandparents, but those who are older than me; those who made me feel like I myself was old as they were, and they seemed to believe it too themselves. It was a great time in my life. And I just can't believe that the people I know now are just around my age. A total shift. The only difference is that, I guess, I ain't much close to these kids my age. More like just acquaintances of some sort. I still have some of them elder pals, although I don't talk to them as much I'd like to anymore. It's sad, it is. Unluckily for me I don't seem to have that skill to keep friendships. Or to nurture new ones, even. That's why I ain't got so many of them. Hell. I just hope they ain't forgettin' about me, coz I definitely have not forgotten about them.

Hmm, all these good books and good movies really inspire me to write huh. It seems I only have long posts after I've read or seen something really nice. Influences the language I use, too. Heh.

posted by introvert at 9:20:31 PM
. . .
Sunday, September 19, 2004
2nd entry about what? There ain't nothin' to write about! (Damn Filipi3 journal..)

I watched The Terminal. I just finished The Great Gatsby. I bought On The Road. I realized I finished three books in one month. The Da Vinci Code, The Torrents of Spring, and The Great Gatsby. The Da Vinci Code took me two weeks. The Torrents of Spring took me one day. The Great Gatsby took me one week. How's that for progress? Hahaha. Now, I have On The Road to keep me company... although... I wish there wouldn't be too much work for school! And do I want to see him? Haha biglang nagbago topic ampowtah.. yeah the clarinets before were so HIGH! Listen to Ted Lewis. Listen to Don Murray. Geez!!!

He has a class downstairs before my first class. He has a class upstairs during my second class on T-Th. That much I know. And of course, his Litera is either 1140 or 1pm.

I wonder how it feels to be a guy.

Hahaha. How's that for a journal entry?

posted by introvert at 9:06:38 PM
. . .
Saturday, September 18, 2004
This is just an addition to my first Filipi3 journal entry. I certainly am not including it there; it's a bit of nonsense. And, it's in English. Nevertheless, I thought it was a nice piece of writing by myself, apparently inspired by Mr. Fitzgerald. Refer to my Filipi3 journal, if you will.

From what I've gathered, I think these two girls have some kind of interest in our professor. After all, he is young and has a sense of humor. They may find him attractive, although I certainly do not. They talk about him like they would of an adorable little dog. For instance, the girl to my right named Bernice, said of him: "He's so madaldal!" She said this with a smile and in a tone of adoration.

Once, with me between them, these two girls calculated his age from a statement in the middle of one his stories that he was in second year high school in 1989.

"In 1989 I was in Kinder," the one on my left said.
"He must be..." Bernice replied, apparently doing some math in her head. "Around ten years older than us."

What struck me about this situation was that I was totally transported to a different world. I have completely forgotten that such people exist, and that these are the people that this school is known for. Perhaps the fact that it is a "worse-worse" school has always been there in the back of my head, but I never really gave it much thought. Because to me, from the people I've known and met around school, La Salle is more of a Tagalog-speaking, middle-class kind of school. And when I saw these two girls, plus their other friends around the class, I was grateful that I wasn't part of that world. I know that I've been to such "worse-worse" known schools throughout my life but fortunately I was never a victim of this "culture" if you would call it that. I know a few people who have fallen for this crowd. And I felt terribly sorry for them.

posted by introvert at 9:30:16 PM
. . .
Friday, September 17, 2004
I just finished Fitzgerald's The Great Gatsby.. amazing.. although I'd have to say that I did appreciate it a great deal more after reading a study guide about it in SparkNotes. It's point became clearer to me. Great story, indeed it is.

But even before reading the study guide, it did entertain me. After all, it was about the 1920s and had references to jazz, movies, and everything. To top it all off it was set in New York. Really the definitive Jazz Age novel as they all say. Heh.

posted by introvert at 9:57:51 PM
. . .
Kukai: (smile)
Sorry ah.. tagal ka na ba naghintay? Ano klase mo, Litera2?
Kukai: Oo pano mo alam?
Stalker ako eh. Hindi.. May gusto akong guy dun eh.
Kukai: SINO?!
Uhm, di ako sure. Pangalan nya *toot*.
Kukai: (isip) -I actually meant di ako sure kung same class.-
Chubby sya na may salamin.
Kukai: Parang wala eh..!
Kukai: Tingnan ko sa class list.

Haha..that was what it was like! I just had to write it. It's been bothering me. I hate it when I just say all of a sudden that I like somebody but I really don't. Or do I? Hahaha. Yes, I'm the most "malabo" person there is. *sigh*

posted by introvert at 2:58:02 PM
. . .
Sometimes, this is good music. On days like these. Sunny afternoons. Especially if you have never heard the song before. And it totally brings you back to the fifties. (104.3 FM music on Fridays at around 2-3pm)

Ang stalker ko talaga. Kadiri. Haha. Kaklase nya yata si Kukai sa Litera2. Kung hindi si Kukai, si Tash. Haha.. alam na alam ampowta. Dalawa lang kasi Litera2 sa Yuchengco eh. Hahaha.

Can you say S-T-A-L-K-E-R? Well, I suppose everybody *more or less* behaves the same way when they have a crush..

Problema lang, hindi ko sya crush. Hahaha. Semi lang.. hahaha.. Oo, semi. Hindi tulad nung kay LM. Pseudo-crush yung kay LM eh. Hahaha. Next pseudo ko si Party Boy. Hahaha. Ang eewan pala ng mga nagiging PC ko noh? Mga eng eng!! Pero sana lang hindi maging parang LM si Party Boy. Sana makausap ko ng matino si Party Boy. At hindi LM-type of kausap. Hahaha.. pasensya na, nagrarant lang!

posted by introvert at 2:45:05 PM
. . .
Wednesday, September 15, 2004
Really I can't understand myself.

I once thought of myself as an anti-social person. I didn't want anything to do with anyone. But now.. I wanted to be there on U-break. Because on U-break everybody is out. I wanted to be part of that throng of people who go around Taft or stay inside school during U-break.

But then. Remembering that Araby story by James Joyce. God knows I've experienced that many times before Illusions. You've set in your mind what you're U-break
will be like. But in reality, it just ain't like that at all..

posted by introvert at 2:38:33 PM
. . .
Tuesday, September 14, 2004
I don't why I'm even bothering myself with this. But hey, just for the record, I guess..

Classmates this term.
FILIPI3: Marian and Gel, and well, Craig.
PHILPER: Nobody. The only class where I don't know anyone. Except Craig, I guess. But I don't know him know him.
LITERA2: Oh, lots. There's James and Gelo from Lr17, there's a bunch of my classmates in Stat last term including KO and that guy who was also my classmate in Litera1 (we obviously know each other but never greet one another), there's that Medic girl who's also majoring in Lit, there's the guy who had a hilarious presentation last term for Artcomp (the noodles), there's Mica Abesamis from Poveda, and Lani from Filipi2. Did I forget anybody.. well, Marian's with me here. And our prof by the way, was Happy's prof last term..
SPANONE: Well, there's that Medic girl again, there's that Bunny girl too, Eda from LitCircle, Tash, and well, Marian. And oh, that Medic guy who's a blockmate of Arthur's and a friend of Paolo Osorio's who obviously knows Marian and I are SP's but we never greet each other.
GENDERS: Ms. Manauat is my prof in this class. BJ, Jekai, and Kat from Lr17 are here. That's it, I think. Oh, Camille from 7 Habits. Tin Ditan is my classmate here but she didn't show up today.
HISTCIV: Tin and BJ are also my classmates here. Christian, too.

Six subjects. That's it. I get the feeling that it's boring. But isn't that how I liked it to be? Geez. I really don't understand what I want from that school.

posted by introvert at 7:13:12 PM
. . .
Monday, September 13, 2004
Sya nga pala, ayun, pers day of skul ngayon. Wala namang significant na nangyari, thank God. Hahaha.

Looks like a good first day. I hope the rest of the term will be like this. Good. Just good. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Well, tomorrow's the second first day (second day technically, but first day of T-Th classes). I hope as well.

Shit! I love this song. Artie Shaw's rendition of A Pretty Girl Is Like A Melody.. or maybe I just love Artie Shaw. Haha.

What's all this about songs lately.

I went to the library to look for On The Road again. Alas, it wasn't there! I have a great feeling that the person who took it out right away (first day of school, biruin mo ba naman!) is the same person who has been borrowing it last term and renewing it a number of times, until finally he/she gave up and simply returned it WAY overdue on the last day.

I've decided that if this happens, I'm buying the book. After all, it's Kerouac.

There are tons of other books in the library for me to borrow anyway. There's Hemingway's books, perhaps F. Scott Fitzgerald, also don't forget Ken Kesey and the rest of them.. I had a list somewhere. God, I hope this term would allow me to read all that I've been wanting to read for such a long time.

Here's to tomorrow. All I can ask for again is that God bless it..

posted by introvert at 8:02:08 PM
. . .
Yuck, ang sama ko talaga. Hahaha. But, hey, what can I do? Gusto ko na ng bagong buhay eh, paki mo ba? Kaya please lang pwede ba.. Sana naman hindi every Martes at Huwebes! Sana lang talaga!!

Hay, wish ko lang.. matutupad rin ba kaya?

Ayoko naman sana maging masama. Pero, di ko naman pwede pilitin sarili ko diba? Hindi ako peyk, kaya dyan ka na!

Ampowtah, bagay tong kanta ngayon sakin ah.. Let's get away from it all.. How I wish! From you lang pala.. hahaha. There's a whole adventure waiting for me tomorrow during break, so stay away. Hahaha.

Shet, ang sama. Ang sama talaga.. Masama nga ba? May karapatan ba ako? Wala naman syang ginagawang masama eh -- THE HELL HE DIDNT. Meron nga ba? Haha, labo ko talaga. Well, ito lang masasabi ko: I'm no rebound/meantime/whatever-you-wanna-call-it girl! And, I have my own life to live. Pakyu..

posted by introvert at 7:51:14 PM
. . .
Sunday, September 12, 2004

Er, what's so "SHET" about it, anyway? I'm not really expecting anything, but I think the most I can ask for is that God bless it..

Is it possible to shut school out of my life? I mean, I know I need to go to school, but I hope it wouldn't bother me as much as it did last term.

Heh. Whatever. Here's to a new term that may bring a new "life" along with it.. all I can do is wonder what it will be like, but I guess we better just wait and see.

I really just want to live this life of breaks and vacation. Bum around the house, do your own thing. Read all those millions of books up there in the library. Finish all those DVD's up there in the library too. And goddammit, fiddle with my clarinet!

But of course I'm bound to get sick of it. THEN I'll be looking for school.

For now, though. I DO NOT WANT TO GO BACK.

Oh, well. What can we do.

Well looka here. Here comes suddenly a longer post than my recent ones. I suppose it's coz of Hemingway's The Torrents of Spring. I just finished reading it.

Good song on the radio right now. Pink Triangle. Weezer. Old school.

posted by introvert at 10:02:30 PM
. . .
Thursday, September 09, 2004
Take me back to 1920s and 30s, dammit! And while I'm there, I might as well live through the 40s and experience the War Years..

posted by introvert at 4:25:41 PM
. . .
Tuesday, September 07, 2004
It's Tuesday and I got nothin' to say to my Blogger.

posted by introvert at 5:04:01 PM
. . .

. . .
current mood
. . .


piotr f.

© 2003-2005