a dream log.

Sunday, January 30, 2005


I dreamt about that guy, whoever he is. A combination of three guys rolled into one. It's recorded in my green F.O.D. journal. Dated today.

Friday, January 28, 2005

Looking forward..

OK, I dreamt about Pier One..

My friends didn't like the drinks, that's all.

Wednesday, January 26, 2005


I had a long, disturbing dream last night.

But again, it isn't very clear to me now.

It's very sad and morbid and I'd rather not write it because it may come out really disturbing, but I just have to put it down. The idea is that Karen S. was killed by well, guess who, Shoktong. They were together, and had been in a fight and ended up trying to kill one another. (Must have been Antigone's brothers in my subconcious)

And well, in the dream I woke up and it turned out that it was just a dream that Karen was gone. I remember worrying about it, because my previous dreams sort of predicted what's to come. But later I realized that no, it wasn't just a dream. It was real, and of course we were all so saddened and was thinking of this Saturday - the day I'm gonna treat the barkada out.

Then I woke up for real this time, and of course, my, it was only a dream.

Some dream, though!

Sunday, January 23, 2005

Ability to see ahead?

In my dream last night, my cellphone alarmed at 10am and flashed a reminder that a movie I wanted to see was on TV. It was I think a Jude Law movie. But when I switched on the TV, some other program was being aired. Turns out the movie I was waiting for was gonna be shown at 11. I was in our old house, master's bedroom, when our TV was in the cabinet.. I remember Frances being around too.

Anyway, I woke up but didn't get out of bed. At around 8 my phone alarmed and it said "Jude Law@Star." I completely forgot about Wisdom of Crocodiles being shown this month on Star Movies. Then I remembered the dream.

But yesterday I remembered the dream about Marian before she told me her situation. When I was with her, though, I forgot about it. Only remembered it later when I looked at my phone where I saved an account of the dream.

Then last Tuesday when I saw him, I also dreamt about him the night before..

But of course Wisdom of Crocodiles did start at 8. And of course Marian doesn't like KO that way. And I didn't even get to talk to HIM as I did in the dream.

Saturday, January 22, 2005


DREAM, LAST NIGHT: Marian had a crush on KO. She really liked him. To the point that she was crying about it. She was with James, but was regretting about KO. Crying to Nico about it. As in really crying. Nico was saying how do you know he loves you back? Probably coz they actually had a chance with each other. Nico brought her upstairs to lie in a bed. All the other Lit majors followed, and comforted Marian. Including myself.

REAL LIFE, TODAY: Marian told me that she has to break up with James. Because "there is no future with him". Because there is no point. How can she be happy when everybody else is not? Yada yada yada.

ANYWAY: Poor Marian. My wish for her - to have the opportunity to enjoy life (or having a boyfriend, to be situation-specific) without having to worry about the future. Boyfriends - it's not as if you have to marry them. I just hope she gets the chance to enjoy being with somebody, to enjoy the company of somebody she likes, without having to think about what the future holds for them.. of course it pays to think ahead, but not to the point that you forget about today, because then you will never be able to experience.

Thursday, January 20, 2005


I had a one-flash dream that the Stars CD Frances sent me was emo. After a couple of guitar lines, I said "Ah, emo."

I'm playing it now, however, and it's indie-ish, just like she mentioned in the card.

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Birthday dream.

In real-life Spantwo, I have a classmate who looks like Blake. Haha. Remember the dream I had about him before..

Anyway, last night, the night of/after my birthday. I again dreamt about that guy who probably appears the most in my dreams (lately). It was a loooonnngg dream with many episodes, not all of which he was in, but he was the dominating character (haha "character"). Unfortunately I can't tell what the dreams really were about, for they are not clear to me anymore. When I first woke up, I was telling myself not to forget them so that I can write it down, but I fell asleep again and when I awoke the dreams were vague.

What I do remember is that I ran into him. In a place with lots of plants, like UP Diliman or that place where Nicolas Cage met his "daughter" in Matchstick Men. Plants and cement. Like a park. We both had something to do but after a while we came back for one another and spent time together.

In perhaps what was another episode, he had his right arm around me, but I didn't want to put any of my arms around him. Oh, and also, he was taller than me. Then, in yet another episode, we were holding hands. The place was some kind of department store, but not like any we see around the malls these days. It had the same glass counters with black borders as the shop in the previous dream (with J) does. And all the walls plus the floor were white.

And then there was another episode involving kids. I remember the intersection from the first gate of Pasadena (the one near Tower I). I was there with other people (I can't recall who they were but it seems that I've known them for quite a while) and we were waiting for some bus to come. Not bus as in G-Liner bus, more of like an L300 school bus. When it came, a little boy jumped out, not at all looking like HIM but somehow it was him. Haha. A little boy? I remember saying something like "Sya yan." Then we picked him up and started playing with him or something. In the area in front of Judy Ann's house. I remember some teasing around too, but that one's sort of vague.

Then, at still another episode, I remember seeing another kid but much older. Probably around twelve. He was with another boy, or perhaps two other boys. The other half of the picture isn't clear to me anymore, what I do remember is that boy of twelve wearing Jason's shirt. The pastel blue one with a black line across it..

Monday, January 17, 2005

Dreaming about txt

I dreamt that it was possible to txt and not use bold letters. You know how in Nokia phones the text in the message editor is bold? In the dream, Patrese sent me a test message. "Daddy, testing.." it said. Half of the letters were thin, half were in bold. I was amazed and asked her how it was possible. She txted back saying that there's a function to turn off the bold typing. It came in the form of a pencil, which you can find when you press the + key.

Saturday, January 15, 2005

Tide-white collared T-shirt and dark blue jeans.

I had a sixth (or God knows how many I've really had already) dream about him, and he was wearing white - I don't think I've ever seen him in white, because it seemed unusual. A white collared shirt, probably Anton's shirt when I first met him in DLSU.

I was with J too. We were walking down Pasadena Drive. The area beside Kartek was some sort of shop that I think he works in, or owns, or something. Reminded me of the days we used to go there to buy bread, when the bakery was still around. But in the dream it was a shop, that probably sold "general merchandise".

J was dressed up, I was in pambahay clothes. I can't remember what we were talking about, but we were sort of deep in conversation. Or, perhaps I was just listening to whatever she was saying. But it was not just any casual talk. I think she was wearing pink.

When we weren't so near the shop, I saw a glimpse of him in white (and I think in the same dark blue jeans Anton was wearing..). As we got closer, he noticed us and I gave him a high five and he said something to J, or maybe to me, or maybe to both of us. J and I immediately set him aside to continue our talk and walk (haha).

We got to Pasadena, walked down from the gate to our houses. J lived in I think Unit 26. She waved bye with that smile of hers.

And then I was at home, thinking of him. Thinking of going back to the shop where he was. But it was night, and I was afraid to walk back there alone. And I was also doubting that he was still there.

There was a flash of him standing over one of the many glass counters in the store, with his glasses on, wearing that strikingly Tide-white collared T-shirt and dark blue jeans.

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

He's cool, that guy.

Well I had a dream about that Estrada guy from Litera2. He was cute in it (well, in real life I do find him interesting), and when I woke up I thought the dream was cute too. We were in school together. I remember the walk way between the library and SJ. We were both kinda lost (probably because of our unbelievably low grades in Litera2). He said something like "Hanapin natin.." and he smiled and held out his hand. I smiled a little smile back and held his hand. The next thing I remember he was wanting to go to some SM mall that was accessible through the MRT. I didn't go to the mall but in the dream I was remembering it as a mall similar to one Marian and I visited in Bangkok.

My subconcious is telling me that I'm desiring somebody to be with.

Hay buhay nga naman.

I've had many dreams before this, but I failed to write them down. Unfortunately. We stayed in a hotel during the Christmas break and I hardly went online. I didn't have time (or just wasn't in the mood) to write the dreams down. Too bad.. I had a dream about Jason, though. It's in my little pink notebook.

Another thing is that I've been dreaming about all these boys in school. First there's Miguel, then Chip and Blake and Jason and then this Estrada boy. Weird how all of them except Jason are in Pol Sci. Hmm. As for girls.. it's just Marian, Cristal, Tin, and those Povedan batchmates of mine who were in first dream about Migs.