nothing feels good
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Like you in red & blue jeans and your white and night things.

Wednesday, December 29, 2004
I'm home from Linden, but just for a while. I was in Shangri-la with dad earlier to have a late lunch at Wham. Was looking around the department store for a shark clip when I saw him. Hehe, and then in the cyberzone for a second time ;)

Labo ko talaga. After that stupid course card day I had forgotten about him. Then now.. oh well..

Fuck it, I have to go to school next term.

posted by introvert at 3:42:52 PM
. . .
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
Too many dreams = Insomnia?

I was so tired last night I thought I would finally fall asleep. For three nights now I've slept for probably less than four hours. Today I woke up so early that I decided to join my mom in Simbang Gabi.

What do you know. Christmas songs, Christmas lights, fireworks, I've gone to Simbang Gabi and still it doesn't feel like Christmas. Probably the real Christmas spirit for me is to pack up and run off, despite all the love my friends give me this time of year.

Yesterday was better than my birthday I'd have to say.

posted by introvert at 7:04:29 AM
. . .
What a day, indeed.

It's nice to feel that you have friends who care about you, just when you're thinking about surviving alone in this world. I still only have very few friends, but today I was reminded that these few friends...

Tash and Marian and Jason and even that guy from Litera2 hehe yung taga-Pol Sci (sige na nga si Matt na rin ehehe kahit papano) showed their concern about my not having to pass the qualification for majoring in Lit next term. It's a simple act of friendship but in this time of my life those little acts are very important to me.

to be continued.. if i'm in the mood!

-->The Continued: (hehe)

The Day's Summary (or at least those events I remember for now)

Saw Happy twice today but he didn't say a word to me. He was talking to Jason instead. Oh well, major mates.. Heard from Jason that he has a new "Rica".. heh..Couldn't care less anyhow.

Yeah. Was with Jason the entire day. Oddly enough. But he was nice. Never shall think of him badly anymore.. Hopefully, haha.

I needed company anyway, I have to admit. And he did too. Actually skipped my plans of going to RP to see Bad Santa. Right after getting my Philper I went to pay my tuition and there he was. In the afternoon he became an "official friend" whatever that means.. haha, I mean, I never would have said before that he's my "friend", using the real sense of the word. If you know what I mean. But he was there when I was crying (and Matt did nothing but tell me not to cry haha) and came with me to get my course cards and and suggested that we go to the Lit Dept and even reminded me to adjust my schedule -- something I would not have thought about. I know it doesn't mean much, and that he did all that simply because he just needs company, and that most of the time our topic of conversation was actually James and Marian, but as I mentioned, at this time in my life it's just what I need myself.

Pat and Tash gave me presents. Pat got me a DVD of White Chicks. I laughed at her disappointment with herself, thinking that I was disappointed because she didn't get me 2046. But it was fine, really. As I told her. Tash got me this really big bag of Oishi goodies, which everyone curiously looked at everywhere I went. I was touched by her statement, "Shit akala ko pa naman may friend na ako" referring to my possibility of not majoring with her next term. I know it's nothing to be touched about but I was, I even told her I was gonna miss her. Hmm, I wonder why I always end up with loners hehe probably coz I am one myself (or feeling to be).

Yeah, got a 1.5 in Litera2 and it made me cry after I tried to convince the prof to make it a 2.0 to no avail. But I wasn't the only one who got an unbelievably low score in Litera2, as my classmate got a 0.0 and from Sir's attitude in the classroom you could see that he was disappointed with everyone's grades. He was practically shouting in the classroom while I talked him into changing my grade, but (unusually) I was in my own world and didn't even notice that everybody was listening despite the bunch of guys surrounding Sir and me. This 1.5 made me so sad that I neglected to realize that all my grades besides this one are 3.0 and higher, and that I'm actually on the Dean's List next term. Hay buhay nga naman.

Another friend of the day -- Kathz. Tash, Marian, Pat, Jason, Kathz. Although I didn't see her today. But she was thoughtful enough to txt me just minutes ago. Same story. She got a 1.5 in Genders. Panira daw sabi nya. Hay talaga naman.

Well, I emailed Miss Sangil to ask if I can major next term so that I won't have to drop all the majors and be delayed another term. She replied already, saying she has to discuss it with Sir Baytan. Let's hope for the best.

Geez, can you believe I forgot HIM about my day? Yeah I saw him, and it was very coincidental. I was gonna get my Spanone in M310, sitting outside because there was still a class, and while I was waiting, BLAKE came out the door. Then some other Pol Sci people were coming in and out. So you what that means. But I didn't dare check or ask anyone if he was inside. Although I did, and I saw him instantly -- haha -- when Tash was there (Hay minsan pag nandyan friends mo nakakagawa ka ng mga gagong bagay) but I was too shy to call him. And then I accompanied Jason to M307 or 8 and then the same Pol Sci people were there! Haha!! But for some reason it wasn't much, my day was too full of other things to even think about him haha YABANG

And tonight. I went to Harbor View in Manila Bay with my family because my mom's aunt from the States is here. She gave me and my bro $10 each! Huwaw. Old Manila is still beautiful.

Well. Better get some rest already. I'll just add to you when I remember some other tidbits about this what a day! Hehe.. baliw na naman ako ;-P

ADDITION No. 1 : Saw JJ too =) Yun ang masaya pag course card day, dami tao =)

posted by introvert at 1:10:05 AM
. . .
Monday, December 20, 2004
I am actually fucking Dean's List next term. That fucking 1.5 in Litera2 made me neglect my 4.0 and 3.5 and 3.0's in my other classes.

Oh God, what a what a what a what a day!!!!!!!!!

posted by introvert at 7:11:19 PM
. . .
Sunday, December 19, 2004
Charles Trenet
1. Ménilmontant
2. Douce France
3. Le Grand Café
4. Boum!
5. Y'a D'la Joie
6. Le Soleil et La Lune
7. Je Chante
8. Bonsoir Jolie Madame
9. La Mer
10. Que Reste-T-il De Nos Amours
Edith Piaf
11. L'etranger
12. L'accordéoniste
13. La Vie En Rose
Maurice Chevalier
14. Paris Je T'aime D'amour
15. Louise*
16. Ca Sent Si Bon La France
17. Valentine
18. You Brought A New Kind Of Love*
19. Fleur De Paris
20. Prosper (Yop La Boum)
Yves Montand
21. Clémentine
22. Les Feuilles Mortes
23. À Paris
24. Mathilda
25. C'est Si Bon

hehehe new discovery! French Pop!

posted by introvert at 1:08:32 PM
. . .
Friday, December 17, 2004
Coin-Operated Boy by The Dresden Dolls.

It's good to see that there are still some good new music around.

Nice combination of styles -- I read in they're punk + cabaret -- I LOVE IT!

Ang galing galing, ano.. Dalawa lang sila, isang singer/pianist na girl, tsaka drummer na boy.. Astig..

I heard this on the radio, in the car, my mind off somewhere.. I never would have noticed it if Mom hadn't mentioned that she's heard this songs several times.. I, on the other hand, have never heard it before. I listened intently on what's left of the song.. and decided that I liked it.

I think I want the album..

posted by introvert at 3:55:05 PM
. . .
Thursday, December 16, 2004
Suddenly I have a longing for Jakarta.. another Southeast Asian city like Bangkok that is just like Manila yet is foreign..

A sudden longing too for Southeast Asia's natural beauty.. My desire to have a road trip across Luzon is suddenly coming over me.. I have an idea what it looks like, how it will be, but sadly my imagination is not enough, I don't have much sources to feed my imagination. How I'd like to just see them for myself! What's that place called.. Sagada.. I wanna go back to Bataan, Batangas.. I want to see Quezon, Bicol.. I suddenly miss the Luzon provinces!! Pampanga, Ilocos.. hay, ano ba yan.. Mag d-drive na talaga ako!! Manila first, then Luzon................

posted by introvert at 9:14:49 PM
. . .
Tangina gusto ko pumuntang Indonesia!!!

posted by introvert at 9:11:53 PM
. . .
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
Haha, I'm alone at home and I had just recieved from LBC the mangoes that Lola sent from Cebu. Damn, the messenger dude was cute! Haha!

From the moment I opened the door, he was smiling. He said he was exhausted from carrying the heavy box. He gave me two papers to sign then asked where he can put the box. I told him to put it in front of the fridge and he went inside to do so, all while saying he was just riding a motorcycle because their van was coding. I didn't say a word. I gave him the papers and he gave me another one to sign. While I did so, he said "Mangga yata yan eh." I returned the paper, said thank you, and he said thank you. He left saying "Akala ko makakatikim ako sa mangga nyo eh," with that smile, and I smiled and gave out a giggle. Heh.

His smile reminded me of Tim Blake Nelson. Stupid me kept quiet all the time, busying myself with signing all those papers. What could I have said anyway?

Those kind of friendly guys are my type. The smiley, friendly, jokey ones. Just like.. *toot* hehehe. Just why I found him and this LBC dude cute in the first place. Sana kinausap ko sya. Hahaha.

I wonder, though, how they do it. Sometimes I wish I could be like them myself. Perhaps it's why I like it in guys so much.

posted by introvert at 4:37:31 PM
. . .
PATAY NA SI FPJ! I can hardly believe it..

posted by introvert at 7:45:34 AM
. . .
Sunday, December 12, 2004
Ugh. Being such a lazy bum again. Not to mention being into a lot of food too.

Tonight I will pray for energy to work - I very much need it this week. Philper paper due tomorrow, Genders paper, script, and finals due on Thursday. God help me.

Should not forget to pray for Jas too.. Somebody who needs it these days..

posted by introvert at 3:34:59 PM
. . .
Friday, December 10, 2004
YUCK! HINDI NA AKO 18 ampota! Mag na-19 na........shemaks ano ba yan 19 na ako hahahha!!!!!!!! life is so godamn SLOW! but the years are fast... i feel like a kid for christ's sakes..

posted by introvert at 5:09:06 PM
. . .
Hahaha what a life..

All these dreams about him.. are making me think about him! Well, naturally..

Basically, nagka-crush lang ulit ako sa kanya dahil sa panaginip. Haha. Crush parin ba yon? Crush ko ba sya or yung tao sa dream ko?

Argh. I want to see him tomorrow. Even if just from afar.

But what the hell will I get out of that?

posted by introvert at 1:23:10 AM
. . .
Dammit, I'm bored! It's late, but I don't want to sleep yet..

posted by introvert at 1:14:02 AM
. . .
Saturday, December 04, 2004
It's sunny again.

posted by introvert at 11:57:49 AM
. . .
Thursday, December 02, 2004
Fuckshit naman o! Kailangang may pasok bukas! Hay.. kailan ko pa siya makikita ha?

posted by introvert at 7:13:11 PM
. . .

The weather today. The name is Yoyong. And it caused classes for all levels to be cancelled. Just look at it. Kinain ang buong Pilipinas amputa.

posted by introvert at 8:44:56 AM
. . .
Wednesday, December 01, 2004
I feel better already.

Clarinet lesson today was inspiring.
Was able to buy nice-fitting new jeans.
And, my dad's friend agreed on doing my Filipi3 speech for me.


Shopping.. it really does help, doesn't it.

I'm such a lazy ass. I'm in the most relaxed college of the university and I still can't manage to do my own paper.

posted by introvert at 8:39:29 PM
. . .
Ewan ko ba. Pag naririnig ko mga magulang kong binibintangan ang isa't isa, nalulungkot ako. Tapos hindi ko pa siya nakita. Kahapon at ngayong araw. Nasan na kaya siya..?

posted by introvert at 1:57:04 PM
. . .
From where I stand, it looks like this is gonna be the worst Christmas.

posted by introvert at 1:52:15 PM
. . .

. . .
current mood
. . .


piotr f.

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