nothing feels good
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Like you in red & blue jeans and your white and night things.

Wednesday, April 28, 2004
Wow, I was invited to be a test user for Google's Gmail. Hehe, as an active Blogger user, daw. ;-) Galing ng google ah, I'm reading their Learn More About Gmail page. And after reading a short bit about them in Time Mag recently, I'm even more impressed! It's hip to be a Silicon Valley person. Haha.

Anyway, I'm just here to share a realization -- that I like Government Offices. Public offices, or something I don't know what they're called. Probably Government Offices. Heh. Well, yesterday I was with my Dad and we went to this place down south called the MIRDC office.. it's got something to do with the Department of Science and Technology, it's where you have your products tested before you sell them to the market or something. And it looked like a cool place. It was quiet, peaceful, not too many people (but I'll bet there are at times, but that's alright), it was a nice vicinity, lots of trees outside and all -- now I know not all Government Offices are like that, like say, the BIR office I went to with my Mom before -- but I was, well, attracted to it. I can't say what I did particularly like in that office or any other Government Office but one thing may be the environment and atmosphere and just the look of the offices themselves. Nice people and lots of wood I can say.. Wooden tables and chairs, etc. (Well, a lot of tables and chairs are made of wood, but here they retain that wooden color). I guess I don't like much the idea of working in some beautiful high-class interior designed office for some reason -- well, except Silicon Valley; the idea of that place always gets me. Anyhow, those Government Offices that I've been to always look nice to me, although probably for most other people they need renovation. There's the San Juan Municipal Hall, the Post Office, the BIR Office, the MIRDC Office.. even those offices along Quezon Ave or the Memorial Circle that I've never entered. I dunno, maybe it's the thing that they look all too Filipino, and that's what I like. Being in a place that looks Filipino makes you feel at home, rather than being in Greenbelt that makes you feel like you're in a first-world country. It looks nice to work in one of those offices, after all you would be working for the country too -- but Mom says its all corruption and low pay -- but that doesn't stop me from liking to work in such places.. Well, it's just a LIKE and not really a HOPING or a WANTING but it would be nice to work there... hehehe..

Meanwhile in love with Benny Goodman's small groups (especially their rendition of "Rose Room" with Charlie Christian..) and Dean Martin's beautiful voice. They call it baritone.

posted by introvert at 11:45:18 AM
. . .
Monday, April 19, 2004
Somehow I feel -- or know, even -- that it's music. It's music that I'm looking for. It's music that I feel is lacking in my life right now. Not just listening to music, but everything else about it. The ability to play it? Watch people play? I haven't done that in a while. The ability to play I don't think I've ever done!

posted by introvert at 8:38:21 PM
. . .
You've got the most awesomest voice there, Mr Sinatra!

Why do people forget that they've already told me what they are about to tell me?
Do they really forget, or is it just so that there is something to talk about?

posted by introvert at 4:42:19 PM
. . .
Saturday, April 17, 2004
They tell me I'm fat and then the next minute they're forcing me to eat.
They tell me I'm too dependent but when I intend to ride the train it's either they'd have to accompany me or I can't.
They tell us we never clean up after dinner, but when we do begin to clean up they tell us they'd take care of it.

It pisses pisses pisses pisses pisses pisses pisses pisses pisses me off real bad.

posted by introvert at 12:29:06 AM
. . .
Thursday, April 15, 2004
Dont wanna touch the guitar. the piano. the recorder. maybe what i want to do is not here thats why i dont want to do anything. maybe i want that trumpet..

posted by introvert at 9:13:53 PM
. . .

posted by introvert at 9:11:42 PM
. . .
Di ko feel. Di ko feel. Di ko feel. I don't know what to do. I feel so dead. Nothing going. Nothing going. Nothing going.. I feel dead. I feel dead. DEAD! I wish I could sleep nothing to do but sleep maybe when I wake up it will all be gone but I don't want to sleep I don't want to do anything what do you call this feeling is it even a feeling of not feeling like doing anything . dead stop. what to do. what to do. i dont wish for school. that would be crazy. what can i do. what can i do. GOD! HELP! i'm not bored. u cant call this bored. probably tired. tired of it all........suddenly you feel so...........whatstheword..............not wanting to do anything...............anything at all..

posted by introvert at 9:09:35 PM
. . .
Where's New England in my life
It's only cold when you sleep alone
Where's New England in my life
It's only cold when you sleep alone

Pink chimneys in Maine
Couldn't keep me away
Couldn't keep me away..

The Promise Ring has awesome lyrics goin round and round and round in circles but it's still awesome

Pink chimneys in Maine

posted by introvert at 9:04:59 PM
. . .
what is wrong
there is nothing i want to do
hair all messed up
and i dont care
nothing to do
nothing for me to do
lots to do
but i dont want it
lots to do
that i thought i would
but i dont want it
not now
not now..
not now


posted by introvert at 9:03:22 PM
. . .
Shut my eyes
Feel dead
But of nothing

I've had my rest
Too much of it
And now

i dont want to do anything

posted by introvert at 9:01:04 PM
. . .
It's true. Just when I have all the time in the world to do everything..

I'm tired of reading.
of the Internet
of the TV
of the bed
of the computer
of the outside
of this room
of this house
of everything.. besides the music
the music.

What else is there for me to do?

I don't want to start the puzzle.
I don't want to watch the DVDs.
I don't want to sleep.
I don't want to think.
I don't want to lie down.
I don't want to read.
I don't want to surf.
I don't want to chat. With anyone.
I don't want to..

All I feel like doing is to listen to this music. Modest Mouse, Braid, The Promise Ring, Hey Mercedes, Mock Orange.......................................I wonder where they get their ideas for their awesome lyrics......but isn't there anything for me to do besides this!

posted by introvert at 8:58:27 PM
. . .
Wednesday, April 14, 2004
It's hard to think that the only thing that took my energy today was that final GenPsyc exam. (Final not only in the sense of GenPsyc itself, but of the whole third trimester, the whole school year!)

Well, it was the only test today and I don't feel so good after taking it, not because I didn't do so well in it but because of well, taking it. Studying for it the day before and then taking it today was a major headache. Well, I didn't literally get a headache.. but it sure felt like my brain was dead. I couldn't study well yesterday, my mind couldn't seem to process anything, and today during the exam I had to force out the little memory I had left of GenPsyc hand-outs. It didn't particularly hurt, that's why it can't really be called a headache. But I guess the right term for it is that I beat my brain out.

And now I'm not in the mood to do anything. So much for that long list of summer things-to-do. I suppose I should give this day to rest my brain, by not doing anything so mind-boggling (scrap that plan of starting the puzzle today!), after such a brain-draining, beater-out year of my first year in college.

I wonder about next year, how it will be like -- things will definitely be different without the block and all -- and hope (though it's unlikely) that it would be less tiring, but then again, compared to kids in other schools, I'm supposed to not as stressed. And then again again, I don't think I should want to even think about that, and instead focus on making every single day count in this not very long so-called summer vacation I now have in my hands.

posted by introvert at 3:21:51 PM
. . .
Thursday, April 08, 2004
Could I be like Artie Shaw?

I'm dreaming of a Dixieland jazz band. Me playing the clarinet or the trumpet, getting together a guitar player, bass player, piano player, and drummer for the rhythm section; and some other horn players. At least a saxophone, trombone, trumpet/clarinet depending on which instrument I'm playing.. That's right. Around eight members. A Dixieland jazz band. Playing not only classic jazz standards but also swing hits as well. Playing in the old school style of jazz..

Do you think anyone would hear it?

posted by introvert at 10:48:33 PM
. . .
Ang sarap pala magtrabaho pag hindi pa bukas ang due date ng project. Pag may oras ka pang magpahinga bago siya ituloy muli.. pag marami pang panahon magbago ng ideya o maging creative.. pag hindi nag c-cram..

posted by introvert at 5:00:01 PM
. . .
Tuesday, April 06, 2004
Normally I wouldn't believe in fortune-telling stuff. But I can't help thinking that God is trying to tell me something.. especially when what I've been hearing is somewhat similar to what's been happening in real life..

I do "like" (semi?) a guy named James.. although that's not what he's called. It's just one of his names. And I used to like another guy who's second name was also James.. and even though that's not how they're known to other people, I particularly liked it that they had that name..

posted by introvert at 8:14:08 PM
. . .
Monday, April 05, 2004

posted by introvert at 9:43:14 PM
. . .

--- prichie fajardo wrote:
> hahaha! onga! see you guys when i see you... baka
> kaya di na nagrereply si elaine, e baka may bf na!
> no kidding! i just dreamt about that last night!
> hahahaha! as in naninibago ako sa attitude ni elaine
> sa dream ko! ganun parin sya except that all she can
> ever talk about is "james".... her bf! galing! baka
> may "james" ka na nga ah! if ever wala, watch out
> for the guy named "james"! hahahahaha! o, patit!
> mag-summer classes ka na din kasi! pag naging lola
> ka edi patay na twag sa akin! langhiya ka, e mommy
> mo ako e! sigesige! babush!

hah!! "galing" talaga!! putangina!!! di ko malaman kung cedric james yan o matthew james. hahahaha!!!!!! o baka kung sinumang ibang james dyan! puta!!!!

pero i like the name ha..

bothered ako sobra... di ako alam ano ibig sabihin ng lahat na to........................

posted by introvert at 9:35:51 PM
. . .

. . .
current mood
. . .


piotr f.

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