nothing feels good
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Like you in red & blue jeans and your white and night things.

Saturday, July 19, 2003
I just saw
Down With Love earlier tonight with my mom. And here I am again so fucking in love with Frank Sinatra's voice.

Fly me to the moon
Let me sing among those stars
Let me see what spring is like
On Jupiter and Mars

In other words, hold my hand
In other words, baby kiss me

Fill my heart with song
Let me sing for ever more
You are all I long for
All I worship and adore

In other words, please be true
In other words, I love you

There's an Astrud Gilberto version of that, too.


posted by introvert at 12:14:02 AM
. . .
Thursday, July 17, 2003
I have to admit I've been fucked up lately. Not doing good in school, spending too much, eating too much. Just the opposite of how I was doing last year. Now I see the difference between college and high school. In high school, I was in the mood to study during first terms (or maybe just fourth year). I saved a hella lot of money for a rainy day. I ate just enough that I could take, also keeping in mind to buy the food I could afford. I tried as much as possible to save at least 50 pesos a day.

Fourth year must not have been as bad as third year, or else I would have tried to excel this year too. Or maybe it's because I'm in a different school now, and the grades from my old school don't seem to have any relation to the ones in my school now. The lazy part of me is taking over.

I used to be the richest among my siblings. Even my parents borrowed money from me. Now there's nada in my wallet. When I try to look back and remember which "rainy day" I had used all my money for, I can't recall. It could be that I spent it all during summer, and during summer my money doesn't grow (no allowance). And, another difference between high school in college, the food in our cafeteria is much more expensive.

Even if it's expensive, I still tend to buy a lot. And I bring merienda, too. The food's expensive, yes, but they're better than those in high school. More choices, too. That's what's making me spend and eat. Damn appetite. Finishes your money. I guess I also have been a compulsive buyer.

If I can't do better for the rest of the term, I better start next term. Clean up the mess in my head. Be more organized. Monitor expenses. Set priorities straight. Yeah, like I ever did those in my life. One thing I gotta learn is to keep my own promises.


posted by introvert at 9:29:15 PM
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